Online dating manners

One, when in Rome, and two, frankly it’s a lot easier than responding and rejecting, something I have always been very bad at and extremely uneasy doing. If you get approached by someone you don’t find attractive, for whatever reason, you simply hit delete and move on. I began adapting to these odd new cultural mores, for a couple of reasons.They’ll laugh too hard at jokes and comments that weren’t even funny.They’ll act super attentive and interested in the girl – not because they are genuinely curious about what she has to say – but because they want her to see how interested they are.Fixing this problem starts by fixing your mindset and how you view dates.

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You may not be interested, but you can’t just pretend that the person isn’t standing there talking to you. So we have developed all manner of ways of saying no thanks, in what is hopefully the kindest way possible. And a couple times, women I have written to actually have replied with nice no thank you messages. And – here’s the odd part – a little uncomfortable.

I also remember sending notes to women I found interesting and getting absolutely no reply at all. I may not even notice that whomever she was didn’t reply.

These women find something potentially valuable about me, and many of them clearly work as hard on their approach messages as I do on mine, trying to appeal to something in my profile that struck them, working to connect the dots and sell me on the idea that they’re really worth my while.

She has taken the time and is making the effort to look me in the eye and make sure I understand that she isn’t interested and to explain why. In nearly every way I can think of, this is upside-down, ass-backwards and inside-out from how I was brought up.

Ignoring someone – someone who is paying you a huge compliment, in fact – is just flat-out What the hell – was I raised in a barn, she’d ask?

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