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They found themselves listening to how terrible it is to be married to you, or how hypocritical they were to tell someone else to do right.

They might even have heard the startling news that God Himself sent the lover and that He wants them to be together. The fact is that even in these situations a possibility exists that the marriage can be saved and, with time, made good again.

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Our experience is that if a good person gets straightened out, not only can the marriage be saved, but it can be stronger and more loving than it was before.Maybe the paramour found a way to get to him or her, rekindled the passion and convinced your spouse that he or she will never be happy without them.If your spouse went back to the affair the second time, it seemed to have much more power over them than in the beginning.Admittedly, I become frustrated with leaders or counselors who too quickly encourage the abandoned spouse to accept that it’s over and move on. However, my experience is that too often we don’t count on the power of God and, therefore, make premature judgments about how hopeless a situation might be. I think that’s a fairly good word to use when God’s involved.I’ll make another admission; I’ve gone through marriage intensives with couples that at the end I would have predicted there was no way they would heal their marriage. For example, recently a couple came through our weekend intensive workshop for marriages in crisis that shared a remarkable story. Like so many others they didn’t understand the danger and forged ahead with a friendship that was destined to become a passion.

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